There's the stat counter that I run on this blog. I got very excited today, thinking that I'd had a load more visitors than normal. Turns out it was just 2 people discovering me for the first time - thanks for looking, folks. My handy little counter tells me where people have gone on my blog. It also tells me about something called page loads. It was the page load figure that had me excited. Whilst I love that there are people out there who've now read more than the most recent post - and yeah, I adore the idea of having an audience - I wasn't as excited when it turned out to only be two people.
And I'm still paying attention to the world of internet dating. I've hit a point where quantity far outstrips quality. I feel a thrill when I see how many people have read my profile. They haven't necessarily contacted me after they've looked, but the initial hook is enough.
The number of emails I get a day, the number of twitter followers I have...It's all about validation through numbers. And the internet, handy as it is, can tell me just how many people do - or don't, if you take a negative view - pay attention to little old me. I'm not exactly an extrovert in the real world (hell, I was voted person most likely to become a spy by my high school teachers, and that wasn't because of my athleticism or my skill with gadgets). But on the internet? Sure, I crave the attention in what could become a very unhealthy way. Notice, I'm even referencing myself here.
I could blame the number of accountants I have in my life for the sudden fixation on numbers, but I know it's a lie. So instead, I'm just going to have to hope that the attention keeps up, or I don't know what I'll do. I might even have to make an effort in reality. And we all know that could end badly indeed.
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